reminders

the bachelorette has found her a man! (with a big fat diamond ring, too!) (fyi - guys, i promise this isn't all about the bachelorette!) I am, indeed, on the bachelorette/bachelor band wagon. it does tug at my heart strings whenever I see someone find love.. it definitely made me excited and giddy whenever I watched the awaited proposal (I totally chose chris from the beginning). but along with those feelings, I am oh so excited for the future. my future. you see - I am resting that my singleness now because first, I know it brings glory to the Lord and speaks of His character..second, because I know waiting for the guy (yes...future hubby! whoever you are...) that the Lord has planned for me will bring Him more glory and be a testimony of His love for us than my search for the perfect guy will ever be (all of my past relationships have failed so far...AKA my efforts fail.) I am satisfied with God and only God. I will only ever be satisfied by God. so, I'm resting in His plan. and it feels OH so good!

friends, watching the bachelorette has brought up many feelings, so I decided to blog a few of them to share with all of you.

1. being alone isn't bad. nor is being single. I loathe what our society has created of singleness - it's a stigma of being single. YALL, SINGLENESS IS NOT BAD IN ANY WAY! wake up and smell the roses! the sweetest, deepest, most treasured seasons of my life have been when I was single. (still single...and these seasons just keep getting better!!!) and I know for a fact that I'm not the only one who has experienced that. embrace this season if you're single. treasure it for what it's worth. the Lord would not put you where you are without a reason .. enjoying the season that you're in will help you to seek after the Lord and see how He's working in you and around you, and you should glorify Him for that! if we're constantly seeking for the 'one' (perfect example: the bachelor and the bachelorette), then we're blinded to the glorious beauty and works of Our Creator. 

I choose to embrace my singleness and seek His face and His hands in the world in me and around me. what do you choose?

2. secondly, I want to remind you of the promises that have been breathed over us by the Most High. they haven't just been typed into a book millions of times, but Y-O-U have been laced together by the Prince of Peace, who was whispering (and hasn't stopped whispering these over you!) so many promises over you. of course, sometimes He has to shout these things at us because we're so darn ignorant, but the promises never change! they're spoken in love- pure, unconditional love that never wavers. look up these verses and rest in them. savor them. praise Him for them!

He will grant us peace.

Isaiah 26:3

He IS peace.

John 14:27

He is our strength.

Isaiah 40:29-31

He sustains us.

Psalm 1:1-3

He loves us even though we're unworthy.

Isaiah 54:10

He is with us always.

Deuteronomy 31:8

He is our JOY.

Romans 15:13

I hope these are sweet reminders to you of who He is. rejoice that these are promises spoken over you! seek the Lord actively.

on a side note, I know it's been a loooong while since I've blogged. but that doesn't mean the Lord hasn't been teaching me tons! I'm going to blog sometime (hopefully soon) to share what He has taught me this summer. until next time!!

***

"And the three men before fire, they whisper the startling answer in Daniel, the answer of all of holy writ and writhing humanity: “And even if He doesn’t” – Even if He doesn’t do what we beg, we are still His beloved. Even if He doesn’t, He still is. Even if He doesn’t do what we will, His will is still right and His heart is still good and the people of God will not waver. Real prayer has eyes on Christ, not the crisis."

-Ann Voskamp

thanks to my friend who shared this on Facebook tonight. hope you this made you think as much as it did for me!

single...and loving it.

oh, how burdened my heart is by how much we worry and fret about not dating anyone! it's so easy to be consumed by the desires to have a boyfriend - I'm so guilty of it. 

as I have shared with many people, I have committed myself to a year of singleness. yes, this is strange because it's not normal. I have willingly stayed single and content for almost a year now. it has been the most difficult and joyful year in my life. 

why did I choose this? I wanted to pursue the Lord's heart. I wanted to really understand what it meant to walk with Him daily - without boy distractions - and what it means to fall in love with my Savior. the year began with a deep heartache and a struggle to see the Lord's plan. I have learned the really difficult lesson of true forgiveness and how to LIVE the Gospel- not just believe it. then, I have learned the that the Lord is my Sustainer. 

 once I worked through all the baggage that I began this year with, I've taken a few steps backwards as of lately. I've been letting the desire to date someone come back up again, which caused worry and a little anxiety to come out. it seemed like tons of people around me were beginning to date others and I was in the minority that was very very very single (which is a lie, the majority of my friends are single). I started to feel lonely. 

all of those feelings are normal. but, when I let those feelings enter my head and my heart, I was turning away from God as my Sustainer, my Comfort, my Beloved, the Keeper of my heart, and my Satisfaction. I was rejecting His character for my anxiety and worry and loneliness. 

friends, don't be consumed by the lies that the world keeps telling us! having a boyfriend or a girlfriend does NOT complete you. they never complete you. they were never MEANT to complete you! God is the only one meant to fulfill the needs and desires of your heart. He is an unending source of love, comfort, and grace- PERFECT love, comfort, and grace at that! 

let me share a sweet truth that i encountered from a blog post this morning:

"Don't be ashamed of the single calling. Instead, be confident that singleness is intended by God to say something glorious about Him, about His supreme sufficiency to satisfy every need, and His supreme worth to be loved and devoted to exclusively by all." 

let's get honest for a second. for people like me who have grown up in church, we've heard that God is great and awesome and our only hope and our Savior and all that good stuff. and that's great! we should know that. but - it takes your faith onto another level if you UNDERSTAND it and APPLY it to your daily life. you have to spend TIME with Him to be able to understand His character of being great and awesome and our only hope and our Savior and SO much more. 

if you are in the place that i was- and still am sometimes, wrestling with singleness- i challenge you to look to Him instead of aching for a significant other. SINGLENESS IS A VALUABLE SEASON OF LIFE! this is when you can learn just who you are in Christ, when you can show others the supremacy of the Gospel by being satisfied in-and only in- God! don't let being single define you. being called to be single is not something reflecting who you are- but who GOD is! you have such an awesome and unique opportunity to show others that satisfaction doesn't come from boys or girls (or anything else, for that matter) but from CHRIST!!!

here is a Psalm that has brought me through this struggle:

"How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me? 

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts 

and day after day have sorrow in my heart? 

How long will my enemy triumph over me? 

Look on me and answer, Lord my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, 

and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” 

and my foes will rejoice when I fall. 

But I trust in your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in your salvation. 

I will sing the Lord’s praise, 

for he has been good to me." 

-Psalm 13, NIV 

the life that I live now is purely a product of the grace and love that has been continuously and unconditionally poured into me by my Sustainer, and not of my own merit or efforts. 

looking forward

oh, friends. i'm back. with a heavy heart.

a heavy heart because I continue to forget a lesson the Lord has taught me over and over again.

you see, I really really enjoy planning, setting specific, yet very reasonable, goals. and these goals are very, very, very normal...and then God steps in and blows it all to pieces. okay, that might be a bit overdramatic, but you get the picture, right? 

I often (conveniently and selfishly) forget that it costs something to follow Jesus. 

let's break this apart- for my sake and for your reading pleasure. first of all, it cost Jesus HIS LIFE for us to follow Him. let that sink in. HE bore the weight of the world's past, present, and future sins for US (so we wouldn't have to!) so that we could encounter and know the living God who created us in His image. 

second, it is never, ever said in the Bible that following Jesus is a walk in the park. it's not easy. yes, it's not easy because there is persecution, but it's also not easy because as a follower of Christ, we must learn to surrender our idea of what life is like. I've never really grasped what that means until now- when God is prying my plans, goals, and expectations for the future out of my iron grip (in case you haven't noticed, I'm wrestling with Him right now). 

it's really quite hard. it's no fun. it means surrendering everything I know and have planned to the unknown. as a typical type A person, that terrifies me. I do not do unplanned. I do not do the unknown. but, I DO do unplanned by me, and planned by God. He has shown me His plan is far, far greater than mine is. 

"And we know that for those who love God,

all things work together for good, 

for those according to his purpose."

-Romans 8:28, ESV

so, according to His Word, if we are in a relationship with God and walk with Him, everything works together for good. It's not just our idea of what is good for us (trust me, our selfish, narrow-minded ideas are a long shot from the true good), it's 'good.' what is good? HE IS. all things work together because He has designed it so...that He may be glorified among the nations. of course, tragedies happen and bad things are right and left, but that's a result of evil being present in the world. but in the end, Christ wins. He already conquered death- He conquered evil at the cross, when He came back to life! 

back to the point... what is our charge as followers of Christ? to make His name be known! His purpose is for those who don't know Him to realize His deep unconditional love for them, and what He has done for them when He took their -our!- sins on the cross! 

I guess what He is teaching my heart is this: I have thought that my plans falling through as inherently bad, but what does it matter if what happens in the place of my plans are for His glory and for His name to be made known? after all, my plans are to follow Him for the rest of my life; to seek after His heart until I meet Him in heaven. my heart deeply desires that my life would be a testimony to Him. because of this, I must surrender my plans. because His plans are always better.

"How completely satisfying to turn from our limitations to a God who has none.... For Him time does not pass, it remains.... God never hurries. There are no deadlines against which He must work. To know this is to quiet our spirits and relax our nerves."

-A. W. Tozer

He is HERE

hello again. it's me. once again procrastinating, just like always.

tonight I went to a worship and prayer night at the Summit (my church in raleigh- I've been so blessed by it. if you're looking for a good Gospel centered church, try it out!) as yet another act of procrastination. to be honest, I wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary- a time to worship Jesus just like on Sunday mornings at church.

well, this chick was wrong to expect little. very wrong.

I arrived about twenty minutes late (I hate being late to things like that and having to walk awkwardly in front of everyone) and tried to sneakily make it to the second row where my seat was saved (thanks hales and jessica!). holy. cow. I had barely heard five words and I had chills; goosebumps were all over the body. the Spirit was alive and moving; I could physically FEEL God's presence. isn't that incredible?! honestly, I don't remember a word either person said for the next ten minutes because I was just sitting there in awe that the Lord blessed me with a few minutes of being able to feel His presence and feel Him draw me close.

....which gets me to the point of this blog post. it blows my mind how personal God is. like, I can't wrap my head around it. He knows the number of hairs on our heads, He knows the most intimate depths of our souls, He has our names ENGRAVED on His hands (isaiah 49:16)! oh, how He loves us! I can point out little, tiny details of each day that are gifts given to me by Him that delight me! today my gift was definitely being able to feel His presence and get a tiny iny miniscule taste of what heaven will be like, praising Jesus for all of eternity.  don't put God in a box and confine Him into heaven. He is HERE, around us, always present! He is ALIVE and living among us- don't forget that truth!

do you really believe that God loves you personally? do you seek Him and His hand in your life daily? can you point out His 'little gifts' to you each day that He uses to woo your heart towards Him? do you know Him personally?

if you answered no to any of those, then I challenge you to seek Him daily. He LOVES you! He constantly pursues our hearts and yearns to know us, and yearns for us to know Him, our Creator and Savior! 

"The Lord your God is in your midst,

a mighty one who will save;

he will rejoice over you with gladness; 

he will quiet you by his love; 

he will exult over you with loud singing." 

-Zephaniah 3:17

matters of the heart.

this topic is oh so appropriate for this week and the looming shadow of Valentines Day. (aka singles awareness day - SAD if you will ;) ) this year is the same as every year - I feel like singles are hyperaware of the absence of love in their life. our hearts are made for someone...but that someone is God!

okay, forgive me for the cheesiness, but let's be honest. He is the Creator of our hearts, and He has made them to be satisfied in Him. our hearts long to be loved, protected, cared for, pursued, and so much more. God offers that to us- to everyone!! it is only in Him that our hearts can be at rest and truly satisfied; it is only from HIM that our thirsts can finally be quenched (John 4:14).

last summer, I made a split-second decision to be single for a year (yes, by choice....) and to actively pursue the Lord and discover who I am in Him. it's kind of a foreign concept, right- choosing to be single? yet one of the best decisions of my life. I've grown so much. I've learned so much. I'm more comfortable with myself and confident of who I am in Him.

I know many people struggle with not having a companion, and I have been there myself (and continue to go there sometimes). but these past several months have been some of the sweetest months that I've experienced in my life. it's actually TRUE- you don't need a boy to be happy! cherish the season that you're in. if you know Him, He holds your heart in His hands. He is ABLE to guard that which we entrust to Him- our hearts and souls (2 Timothy 1:12). Have you entrusted your heart to Him? if you haven't, then I urge you to begin the journey of knowing God.

so...take heart, singles! I challenge you to find satisfaction in Him this valentines day...and every day following that. be HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY! (to quote duck dynasty :D) you ARE loved! He is the lover of your soul and wants you to know the width, the height, and the depth of His love for you! knowing His love is so much better than being worried about your status of singleness - promise!

whether you believe it or not, He can use you in your single season of life. let Him!

let's chat.

alright, so I've had a crazy idea.... to start a blog. I don't know what's spurred on this decision- blogging is new territory for this chick. the most frequent interaction I have with the world is limited to 140 characters. but, I do hope that this blog- where I share my life, my ideas, my opinions, my walk with Jesus- can be an encouragement to whoever decides to stop by here and read for a little bit.

so, let's get on with the basics. who am I?
I am a college student who has no idea what she wants to do with her future. I am a perfectionist. I am confused. I am emotional. I am a planner. I hate sweet tea. I am genuine. I worry....a lot. I am a control freak. I love hugs. I love traveling abroad. I am a procrastinator (this blog is definitely a product of that). I love to speak Spanish. The way to my heart is through conversations over a cup of coffee. I am one of the few who love cold weather. I am not perfect. I am very, very awkward. I am a sister. I'm terrible at making decisions. I am short (no, I still don't like short jokes). I am a sinner, saved only through the grace offered to me by Jesus Christ. I am a daughter of the King. And I yearn for my life to reflect Jesus' love.

you've got to be wondering why in the world I chose this name for my blog...
In Scripture, we are referred to clay and God as the potter (Isaiah 64:8, to be exact!). There is something about that metaphor that stirs the deepest workings of my soul. The clay mentioned has not been made into anything- yet. "We are all the work of His hand..." He has formed each of us individually, with the deepest love and care. Actually- scratch that. He IS forming us individually, with the deepest love and care. He's not finished. He promises that He isn't done with us yet! "...He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil. 1:6) I, for one, absolutely cannot wait to see how He continues to mold me, to use me for His glory for the rest of my life. So, there it is. The inspiration for this title. I am a pinch of clay in my Heavenly Father's hands, an unfinished work.

like I said, I hope this blog serves as an encouragement for you. I struggle, I laugh, I mess up, I make things awkward, I forget, I dream, I love ...and I hope to share a glimpse of it with you.