as I have shared with many people, I have committed myself to a year of singleness. yes, this is strange because it's not normal. I have willingly stayed single and content for almost a year now. it has been the most difficult and joyful year in my life.
why did I choose this? I wanted to pursue the Lord's heart. I wanted to really understand what it meant to walk with Him daily - without boy distractions - and what it means to fall in love with my Savior. the year began with a deep heartache and a struggle to see the Lord's plan. I have learned the really difficult lesson of true forgiveness and how to LIVE the Gospel- not just believe it. then, I have learned the that the Lord is my Sustainer.
once I worked through all the baggage that I began this year with, I've taken a few steps backwards as of lately. I've been letting the desire to date someone come back up again, which caused worry and a little anxiety to come out. it seemed like tons of people around me were beginning to date others and I was in the minority that was very very very single (which is a lie, the majority of my friends are single). I started to feel lonely.
all of those feelings are normal. but, when I let those feelings enter my head and my heart, I was turning away from God as my Sustainer, my Comfort, my Beloved, the Keeper of my heart, and my Satisfaction. I was rejecting His character for my anxiety and worry and loneliness.
friends, don't be consumed by the lies that the world keeps telling us! having a boyfriend or a girlfriend does NOT complete you. they never complete you. they were never MEANT to complete you! God is the only one meant to fulfill the needs and desires of your heart. He is an unending source of love, comfort, and grace- PERFECT love, comfort, and grace at that!
let me share a sweet truth that i encountered from a blog post this morning:
"Don't be ashamed of the single calling. Instead, be confident that singleness is intended by God to say something glorious about Him, about His supreme sufficiency to satisfy every need, and His supreme worth to be loved and devoted to exclusively by all."
let's get honest for a second. for people like me who have grown up in church, we've heard that God is great and awesome and our only hope and our Savior and all that good stuff. and that's great! we should know that. but - it takes your faith onto another level if you UNDERSTAND it and APPLY it to your daily life. you have to spend TIME with Him to be able to understand His character of being great and awesome and our only hope and our Savior and SO much more.
if you are in the place that i was- and still am sometimes, wrestling with singleness- i challenge you to look to Him instead of aching for a significant other. SINGLENESS IS A VALUABLE SEASON OF LIFE! this is when you can learn just who you are in Christ, when you can show others the supremacy of the Gospel by being satisfied in-and only in- God! don't let being single define you. being called to be single is not something reflecting who you are- but who GOD is! you have such an awesome and unique opportunity to show others that satisfaction doesn't come from boys or girls (or anything else, for that matter) but from CHRIST!!!
here is a Psalm that has brought me through this struggle:
"How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
for he has been good to me."
-Psalm 13, NIV
the life that I live now is purely a product of the grace and love that has been continuously and unconditionally poured into me by my Sustainer, and not of my own merit or efforts.
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